SUPERFRIEND

It was last night with what used to be considered “The Ladies Man.” It had taken months to finally have this time talk again. Once your best guy friend FINALLY uses the phrase “my girlfriend” pertaining to a girl involved with him romantically, things do inevitably change. No longer can he just hang out with his female “chums” whenever he wants. It seems that “the girlfriend” just has a tiny problem with the girls he once collected. In my mind, we’ve always been as platonic as brother and sister. In her mind, she swears it’s more. Quite honestly, in his mind I do believe he wishes it had been (hahaha ang yabang ko!).

In the three years since we've met, SF and I have developed a truly special bond. We keep each other connected to what happening with us. We’ve been there in the “ups and downs” and the “thick and thins”.

He claims that loosing weight is what happens to those who practice after 6 diet and drinks a lot. It’s proven true for him.

I couldn’t help noticing the high hair line on his head that seem to broaden at an alarming rate. As vain as he once was, this still rock his comfortable world. Gone are the days of clubs, endless drinking sessions, and late nights with the boys. Will sure be replaced with dinner dates, movies for two and the other happy ever-afters. I'm sure there will be discussions of petty argument, kiss and make up scenarios, and DVD marathons, far outweigh any other topic and can readily consume entire evenings.

There is a sense of comfort between us. We laugh of days gone by as he shares all the ways he knows he’s getting older. He smiles his boyish grin as he explains that all the young beautiful girls have now become unattainable fantasies. They once shared his sweet stares especially if hes drunk., making all these girls always think they have something going on. O yes, my SF made so many girls cry. He will soon realize that he will still lust after them, they just don’t lust after him anymore.

I reminisce of all the crazy men that he saw me through— “my husband”, the “super in love” the “all flash and no cash” types. Yes, I did have an affinity for the “all-sort” types. It always amazes me to think back and know of the choices that I made. In case I forget, SF is always there to remind me. After all, what other reason could there have been for me to not have dated a cool, drummer, unique “Ladies man” like himself? Hmmmmm a lot!!!!

I remember watching him as he stuffs as much chopsuey into his mouth. He visits me drunk on time it made me uncomfortable until he notices and apologies for his rudeness. I just smile. This is a comfort that long time friendships bring and I wouldn’t replace it for anything. There' a moment of silence as he sighs deeply and that familiar look comes over his face. He says how much he misses me. I just miss the time together.

I asked about the girlfriend. “Ok naman”, he says. “Medyo selos yun kasi I call u SF”. Since I have known him, he has always had a strong desire to get into a relationship. When he met the girl, I was truly pleased. I could not wait to finally meet her.

He shares with me the perplexity of the female species and their ability to hold onto any wrong that was committed. He lets me know that “guys can just forget about that stuff. Within hours they don’t even remember what was said, nagpapalambing lang madalas.” Though he does let me know of the important topics men have. Topics like “sex … sex … and then sex again.” Those types of discussions carry strong significance and are always remembered. He also lets me know that men can just have sex even if they’re angry with their spouse. He wonders why women can’t. I don’t even try to shed light on that. Some things you just don’t resolve over a telephone conversation.

I can still remember the night that asked me to come over and cried on my shoulder as I tried to console him. His last affair had just broken the news that a girl is bearing his son (which later on he found out it was not his). I asked him, “why this time”? He said he got overwhelmed, that he likes kids, but not now, and other stuff like it is really not his. He's got so damn scared of the word PIKOT. I figured since the girl was the kind who just sleeps around, and nags at me for being the SF, she could probably find another father to claim it. Pretty sure she's got a list of names there. He did not listen to my reasoning though. It was as if part of him really liked the agony of the many trials these women put him through. He likes drama especially when he's drunk I must say.. “When are you going to find a woman who loves you for yourself?” I asked him. He gave no response. Needless to say, that relationship ended at that very moment.

I look at him now as if I were the proud parent of a child who finally turned his life around. He is now the boyfriend all the other past girls wished him to be. And I'm pretty sure that its not easy material, and I pray that she is the solid and loving woman that he needed all along. I sense a peace in him that can only come from having finally found the place in life where you belong. I guess we all have to pay our prices for a while until we finally learn our lessons. Eventually, life does bring us cherished rewards.

I look forward to giving each other a hug goodbye. This is to let him know how much I appreciated those times together. We decided to have our first last date. We agreed and I said I just have to work it out in my schedule before his girlfriend won't permit him to see any of me anymore. He said he wont let it happen and he'll still see his SF whenever its necessary, and she does not need to know. I asked why? In a familiar style he told me that she just wouldn’t understand and he’d rather not have to explain.I asked if he would rather be honest, instead of her hearing about it from someone else? He said “Bahala na!” A typical male response. I laughed as I ended the phone call with my SUPERFRIEND..

Upon having this all said. I’m left feeling somewhat melancholy as I finished this essay. Our distance felt like so far. No farther... Maybe because we just spoil each other so much that I thought he'll always be that SF I had before and nobody will ever replace me for looking after him. I was relieved at the same time because there's that somebody who will take care of him now, someone who will understand him the way he wants to be understood, who will accept him not just because she's crazy about him but because she loves the person he is. Some things a SuperFriend cannot give.