dreams

In summer of 2001, when I met my husband, I was a young girl with big dreams. I can sit here and say that my dreams included becoming a successful, powerful, and highly respected career woman. But I would be lying. I wanted to meet a successful, powerful, and highly respected man who wanted to take care of me.

I would have his beautiful babies.
I would dress them in the hottest new baby gear.
We would have play dates at our favorite park.
I would have a nanny.
I would work out daily.
I would have a beautiful house with a HUGE walk-in closet.
I would have a housekeeper.
I would always look sexy for my husband, my hair would be done, and my makeup would look great.
We would have weekly date nights.
We would go on extraordinary vacations.
We would go to fancy dinner parties and he would show me off to his friends, coworkers, prospective clients.
My boobs would forever be perfect, stable, and far above my belly button.
My ass would be tight and firm.
I would be a 'mother i like to f*ck"—yes, the “hot” mom all the kids would talk about. (Sick to even hope for that, I know.)

In 2001, when I met my husband, I was a young girl with big dreams. It is now 2010 and I have no clue where I went wrong. My husband decided he wanted to follow his dream.

He becomes a struggling employee of a call center.
I was so supportive; he felt so blessed.
He is now a product supervisor.
We have Zoe.
I have a nanny.
I don’t have a housekeeper.
The house is a mess.
Our place is the size of the dream-home’s walk-in closet.
My hair always looks like shit.
I wear cheap makeup.
My boobs make a bellybutton sandwich.
My ass is the opposite of firm.
I am the friend of the M.I.L.F.

WTF happened to me, and where did I go wrong?

I sometimes feel sorry for myself in the middle of a mini breakdown (usually after a long week full of sick/cranky work mates) and ask myself this question. Instead of packing up and leaving my not-so-dream life behind, I remember why it’s all worth it.

I do have beautiful child.
I do have a favorite park, with wonderful dates.
I do have a wonderful husband who wants to take care of me.
I do have a husband who thinks I’m sexy (or so he says).
I am still a young girl with big dreams. Only now my dreams are different. My dreams include healthy children, a long marriage, college funds, and grandchildren.

mimi-zoe-nel 2010