Just Let Go

Letting go is something women are entirely too familiar with. Whether it’s letting go of something we value, something we love, or even something as simple as letting go of our past. But not everything is as simple as it seems.

In my case, I am dealing with letting go of my past. This should just be a piece of cake, after all it is the past for a reason, right? I am the happiest now than I think I have ever been; I’m in love (with someone who actually loves me back, may I add), I’m getting along and spending a lot of time with my family, I’ve recently decided that I want to really get back into getting serious with work and start living a different and better kind of life, and have been taking the right steps toward doing so. But, to make a better life for myself requires letting go and getting rid of some extra baggage that I’ve been carrying around for quite some time now. These changes aren’t so simple; in fact over the last few months, they have proven to be quite a task. But I have been trying and that’s what matters most.

I never wanted to be the kind of person who carries her past battles and struggles with her into the present, but that’s not necessarily something you can always avoid. When you have a past such as mine, letting go can be one of the biggest obstacles one might ever face. When you've been hurt in so many different ways over the years, you begin to find it harder to trust, harder to let go. You begin to let your silly emotions and insecurities run away with you, and you find yourself slowly creating a monster in something that is perfectly fine and safe.

Why is it that we as women have such a hard time with this? Why can’t we just let the past be the past and leave it at that? It’s something that I continually ask myself every day. And it’s something that I don’t really think anyone knows the answer to. But something we do have control over is how to manage these emotions and insecurities and how to learn to not let them control our lives. We are strong and can do anything we set our minds too!
First things first, you have to get rid of some of the things in your life that hurt you in the first place. No matter how good some of those things may seem now, you have to remember that they still hurt you and they have no business creeping around in your life anymore. If you let them, you’re just opening yourself up to a whole can of worms that you may not be able to find your way out of. Nip it in the bud before it’s too late! Otherwise, you may just find yourself alone and that’s never a good place to be. So if you can help it, I would say DO SO!

Take control of your life. After all, it is yours! No one else can make it happen for you. Some things seem so tough to get rid of, not because you still really care for them or want them, but because it’s what you’re used to and it’s a part of you because you lived it. But if it’s something that isn’t necessary and something that could potentially harm your future, best thing is to just rid your life of it.

I definitely don’t have all the answers, but what I do know is that all of us good people deserve happiness, and we have to stop being the ones that hurt ourselves. Because most of the time we are the ones who mess things up for ourselves. We have to learn how to take control and JUST LET GO!

Artworks

For a friend who shall remain unnamed

Your story.. I hope this captures your true feelings. Enjoy!

I knew he loved someone else, he told me, and it made me mad. He told me I was just jealous. I wasn’t, I was threatened. He didn’t belong to me, but he was mine. Another girl couldn’t have him, that would disrupt my order. He was mine to talk to, mine to laugh with, mine to tease, and vice versa. My possessiveness and constant questions started to wear on him, I could tell, but I didn’t care. He would never, could never, turn his back on me; we’d been friends for too long for him to just forget about me for some new fling.

He was my best friend, my rock. He got me. I loved him, but not like that. I’d tell myself that until I believed it. He started acting weird a few days after he told me, then I was really confused. He was hiding from me, it was so easy for me to tell, for I’d always been able to read him. I felt him pulling away from me, and I became so bitter. Why would he be acting like this? His new girl is taking up his mind, so he has no more room for me. Figures. I bet she is pretty. She probably has a nice laugh, and isn’t as loud as I am. Before he could forget about me, I decided to forget about him. He wouldn’t be able to hurt me that way.

I was so snarky and cold, I was the nastiest person you can imagine. I did anything, said anything to hide my true feelings. I regret the things I did. But at the time, I couldn’t see through my wall of pride. Horrible, green-tinged words flowed off my tongue like turpentine. I told him to his face that I didn’t want him, and left him standing there in the rain. He won’t even look at me. I deserve it, I guess. He doesn’t need me, because he has her. But I need him so badly it colors my every thought. I see him still, every single day. Whenever I see him, I wonder if he’s talking with her.

It’s odd what I’m feeling toward him now. I’ve never had this happen to me before. Even though my soul is dying inside, every time I see him laugh, I smile, because I know he is happy. He isn’t happy with me, and my heart is breaking because of it, but he is happy nonetheless. That is all I can hope for, since I can’t hope to have him. He will walk by me in the halls, and he’ll make eye contact for just the briefest second before going back to whatever he was doing.

I cherish those moments, just like I cherish every memory I have with him. From his dark brown eyes burning with concentration as he runs, to his hands moving around wildly as he would try to tell me a funny story and I would laugh out loud. I don’t deserve those memories because of the way I acted, but I selfishly hold onto them with all I have, just as I hold onto hope that one day, I’ll be able to side-step my pride. Until that day, I’ll be sated with stolen glances at his face and running over every memory in my head like a broken record. He’s not mine anymore, and one day I will accept that, but I will never stop regretting. I won’t regret him, I never could, but I regret everything I said to push him away. I regret every day I lied through my teeth. I regret my jealousy of a girl. Most importantly though, I regret being too blinded by my own hands to realize I was utterly and completely in love with him..

:(

Death Wish :)

This has been on my mind for weeks. No, there is nothing wrong with me. So the idea of mortality is on my mind. When you have to plan a funeral for a person, there is so much to do in a really short amount of time. So, I’d like to make it easy for my family and friends …

I would like to be cremated. I do not want, no matter how much money I have, to spend ten thousand dollars on a cushioned box. I want someone to go to a Forever 21 Dress for Less and go to the housewares area and find me something that could double as an urn that’s fun, yet subtle. Like don’t put my ashes in a pig cookie jar where the pig nose is a handle to the top of the jar. Have some taste.

Although I want to be cremated, I want to be buried! Period! I don’t want my daughter walking around the house having a laugh about something and then look up and there I am, in a pig cookie jar. So she'd stop laughing, like, “Oh, so, there’s dead Mom. Great.”

I want good music and I want it playing when people are walking in the place so they don’t sit there acting nervous and uncomfortable. Pink, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, U2, Queen, Coldplay ... you know what I like. If you could wedge in Usher's “OMG” that would be great. Crank it up.

Now, during the service they do a thing called a tribute. That’s where someone walks up and talks about how blessed the world is that you were here. I have taken the time to write my own so no one has to say weird things about how I lit up the room and shit like that. So, typically a family member would read this.

My Tribute

So, if someone is reading this, well (long dramatic pause), I am no longer here. I’m not thrilled to be in this position, but it is what it is. Zoe, Skye, and Zach (Skye and Zach are not born yet when as I am writing this..), I love you. Know that you don’t have to be unhappy. Know that there is a whole happy way to live out there waiting for you. Go get it. Rodnel, you are the love of my life. Till death did us part. To my Myk and cousins, thank you for loving me and thank you for all the laughs.

For those people I’ve hurt. Well, sorry. For all the people that I don’t like and that don’t like me. Nothing’s changed. You were a douche bag while I was alive and you remain a douche bag in my death. I will take my complete disgust at the sight of you to my grave. And being that it’s obvious that I am getting to heaven first, because you are sitting there and I’m in this pig cookie jar, the first order of business is to go to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and throw your ass so hard under the bus your head will spin. Just know that every time you slip on some rock, there is someone in heaven laughing their ass off. By the time you get to heaven, the Lord will want no part of you and know what a bullshitter you are.

Also, don’t anyone go being all sad. I am in heaven; I win. The conditions of my life on Earth were so ridiculous that I earned my place in heaven. Heaven is a great place. They say it’s like Vegas. And I know some people in heaven, so don’t be sad. Well, I guess you could be sad for a little while just out of respect, but don’t overdo it.

I have had a life of laughter. I have had a great time. I have been lucky. And please come to my reception afterward. U2 will be playing. (I understand if you can’t pull that one off.) I love all of you guys. Well ... most of you. That’s been my time.

The end.

Now, it will probably be thirty-nine years before someone has to read that, but it’s done. I may tweak some things before then, but for now it would be good enough in a pinch, which death usually is. And I know this is hacky, but in my death, I won’t care about being hacky. I want my headstone to read: “I told you I wasn’t feeling well.”

I think that covers it. Again, it will be a long, long time before this plan will need to be put in to action, but someone needs to make sure this shit happens.

Until then, I will cry a little and laugh a lot ...

One week later …

If by chance, Rodnel (my husband), we have won the lottery or are swimming in money, there is one thing I never did in my life that I could actually implement at the departure party. I would like my ashes sitting on a half moon that will be dramatically lowered from the ceiling while the song “If I Could Turn Back Time” by Cher blasts through the grieving people. I want the half moon to be glittery, bedazzled, and a real show stopper. That way it would be so dramatic that people would say, “Oh my, it’s Mimi’s ashes sitting on the moon in that jar. This is the best funeral I have ever been to.”

Also, and not a big thing if you can’t make it happen, a few days ago I saw a seven- or eight-year-old little boy wearing a T-shirt. It had a photo of a man throwing a gang sign ... then of course the whole RIP and a date. I’d like that. Something people could just throw on and wear to the supermarket. That’s it for now. But I think I’ve really covered the main things. Love you and I think this whole thing is really gonna be a lot of fun! Way, way down the road!

Thanks!

Mimi

My Kind of Happiness

Sometime in 2006, I have an apartment the size of most people’s bathrooms. My income stream is not terribly large. I broke up with my boyfriend for six years then I haven’t had a relationship which lasted longer than one month. And people who have never met me feel obligated to write unfavorable things about my personality, appearance, and life choices. Haters! Hehehe

But I’m happy. Because I don’t think about things that way. I think about them like this:

Yes, I have an apartment the size of most people’s bathrooms—but it’s new and it’s clean and it’s safe and it’s comfortable and I’ve decorated it exactly the way I like it and it’s all mine.

Yes, my income stream is not terribly large—but it’s enough to live on, in one of the most expensive cities in the Philippines. And I made it myself; after one year of earning under poverty level wages, I feel very, very rich indeed. No, I don’t have a 401k, but I do have enough for food and shelter and a comfortable bed in which to experience insomnia. What more is there?

Yes, I broke it off with my boyfriend of six years and I haven’t had a relationship which lasted more than one month, but that’s exactly what I wanted/needed! I wanted to discover what it was like to date all sorts of men—yes, even jerks (check, check, check)—and live as an independent adult without a boyfriend. While I haven’t loved every moment (I’ve certainly cried my share of tears), I don’t regret for one second this period of being single and liked. I’ve had a series of incredibly rewarding, enriching experiences in my dating life, experiences which aren’t belittled by the length of time, some of which have turned out to be the most formative experiences in my adult life. I also believe there is no such thing as a “failed” relationship, that you learn something new from each person who comes into your life. I have a far greater understanding of who I am, and what traits I want in a partner, not to mention, an exponentially greater appreciation for the “good guys.” And yes, when the right Good Guy does come along (which has arrived already and I'm so happy), I’ll be ready for him (I knew I'll be ready), unlike the way I felt when I was twenty-two …

Back in 2006, I tried explaining to many people my reasons about leaving my amazing then boyfriend that “I need to make my own mistakes, to date Mr. Wrongs, to see what else life has to offer. A decade from now, I don’t want to wonder, “Can I really stand on my own two feet—without him?” I want to know I can.” In the next couple of weeks, after people called me immature and shortsighted, I said, “I am convinced that if I stayed with The Boyfriend, married him, and had children, that I’d feel a nagging uneasiness … Should I have experienced more of life independently before submerging myself in the cozy confines of coupledom? My relationship offered security, stability, predictability … but I’m still not convinced one should make life choices solely to avoid possible future unhappiness.”
When I finally wrote it and read those words, I’m floored. Everything I’ve learned in the time since then underscores their importance, and yet, when I think back, I was just operating on gut alone.

And finally, yes, people who have never met me feel obligated to say bad things about my personality, appearance, and life choices—but this, in its odd, painful way, has been one of the best lessons I could have ever learned: judge not, lest ye be judged. It has made me into a kinder, more considerate, far, far less judgmental person. And now 2011, I’m seeing something else happening. I’m developing a core of, not apathy, because I’m the antithesis of apathetic, but calm. Compassion. Peace. Maybe even Zen? For the first time in my life, I’m beginning to understand how to let go of other people’s opinions. After all, I know myself far, far better than anyone else—including my friends, my family, the guys I date, and the people I meet at parties, but especially angry haters. And I’m beginning—just beginning—to rein in this frantic need to prove myself, to impress people I don’t know and will never care about, to make everyone love me. I’ve never been under the illusion that I’m even close to perfect, but I believe in self-examination, I believe in the miracle of personal transformation, and I believe in myself.

And that, my friends, is why I am sitting here alone, in front of my office computer, thinking that life is pretty darn good right now.

what do you want less of?

On the face of it, it seems like an easy question to answer. Five less pesos, maybe, or one less zero in the credit card statement. But go just under the surface of this simple query, and the answer is likely to be one that involves finding more time for something. Maybe it’s more time with children, or more time to work on a project like getting things ready for the hotel pre opening, writing more articles, or learning how to paint. Or perhaps it’s more time to travel, or spend on friendship. In short, more time to do the things that we value, and let us express ourselves in a unique way.

The busy pace of our lives often means that reflecting on this question seems like a luxury in itself. After all, when we feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done anyway, how could we possibly want more of anything? But just as a car requires a periodic tune-up, our calendars need regular maintenance as well. The arrival of the summer season is a natural time to take a look at what we want more of, as the lengthening days start to whisper of spending time outside in the sunshine.

Turning the question around—what do you want less of?—is a good way to gain insight into what to clear out of your life in order to find room for what you do want. Take a quiet moment to think about your volunteer commitments, your friendships, and the appointments that fill your calendar. Think also about the household chores and all the other daily things that you are responsible for. Last, consider how much time you spend surfing the web or watching television. Remember that none of these activities are bad; this exercise is only about seeing how you might want to redistribute your time in order to spend it in a more fulfilling way.

What activities and chores could you gracefully delegate, or let go of? Are there any friendships or groups that you have outgrown? As in all things, trust your intuition. Begin to let go of what you no longer need. Imagine replacing those things with an image of doing something you love, or with someone you love.

Time spent on what we value is time that enriches our lives. Whether you want to spend more time with people you love or work on a project that has meaning for you, making time for those things ultimately means feeling happier at the end of the day. And that feeling is one we all would like more of.

An Affair With Myself! :)

We are raised with notions that “love” has something to do with how we express ourselves toward others. We think that when we love someone, we will compromise and make them feel better and will sacrifice ourselves and do anything for the object of our adoration. While this is true to a point, it is backwards. You can not love another until you fully embrace yourself.

The notion that you must cater to the needs of others in the name of love creates internal conflict and it is really the furthest thing from love. We are taught that we must strive to be good but that implies that we are inherently bad or that there is something we must achieve or do in order to be good and loved. We set ourselves up for lives of unhappiness and Self-sacrifice feeling that love comes from an external source and to attain it, we must cater to the perceived needs of others.

When we can embrace the totality of who we are, and embrace all of our moods and all of what we are, whether we like the characteristics or not, we then allow ourselves to be Self-loving. You can’t help whether you feel anger or love in any moment, and you can’t control other people and their perceptions. All you can do is surrender control and accept yourself and what you feel in any given moment, whether that feeling is of wanting to kiss someone or whether you want to kick them. You don’t have to act on it, you merely need to accept that you feel it and once you accept it, then you can change it if you desire. You can’t change something you are unwilling to see.

When you can accept your feelings in any given moment, you will eventually find that you are happy to be you and can remain steadfastly true to yourself by honoring your feelings. When you can be true to yourself and other people’s opinions hold no power over you, then you can truly love without condition. You find that your approval and acceptance is the only validation you need and little by little, your attachments to how other people respond to you melt away. You find that it makes no difference whether your love is reciprocated; you love because you feel love for yourself and nobody can take that away from you. You find that it feels wonderful to share yourself and your love with whoever will receive it, in whatever form it shows up; whether it is helping a stranger with groceries or being present with your kids or giving yourself over to your lover fully and completely.

When you release the need for external approval, you find your own validation and approval is the only one you need. You find that your love is expressed in everything you do and you free yourself to be completely and steadfastly true to yourself. You also find that in loving yourself, you can’t help but love every aspect of your life because you see and express your own Love of Self in everything you do.

Listen..

I have been noticing there is a fine balance between being able to express your thoughts, perspectives, and observations to another individual and it being seeing as such—just observations and being taken as “this is what is wrong” or “this is what you should do.” People seem to think that unsolicited advice is always welcome because they have your best interest at heart, when really their ego has convinced them that their ten cents of advice is far more valuable and earth shaking than anything the individual working through the challenge could ever come up with on his own.

As a person who speaks about things I have learned in life, I walk that fine line all the time. There are opportunities for brainstorming with people, but in reality what my friends, and yes, even my family members really need from me is my support. My support can come in many forms, but the most important form is the role of listener. Giving them the space to talk through their challenge provides not only the emotional space to express their worry, stress, anxiety, etc., but also the mental space to be able to think outside of their normal processes.

Have you found yourself doing that? Talking with a friend, associate, or family member and suddenly you are carrying on with verbal diarrhea with every piece of advice you can muster in hopes of providing the solution to their problem. Yep, guilty! I have done it and I am not proud of it. But when I do, I don’t beat myself up. Instead, I stop midstream, look directly at the person, and apologize for thinking I know better than they do. My attention then shifts to listening and only listening.

The dead-space zone is one so many people are deathly afraid of, as if this quiet time is a void just screaming to be filled. In reality, however, it is in these quiet moments that people are able to truly hear their inner guidance speaking. A wise man once told me that if we are speaking then we are not hearing the other individual.


So when is it okay to give unsolicited advice? Um … never. Simple. If they did not ask for your input, your suggestions or ideas regarding solutions, then they are not looking for you to tell them how to fix the issue. If you are wondering if they might be “asking but not really asking,” ask them by using a phrase like, “It sounds like you are really confused, would like to hear what I would do in this situation?” If they say yes, ask them if they have any ideas for solutions first before you begin to share your wisdom. People don’t mind hearing or learning from another when it is an open and sharing discussion; rather, it is when a person shares without consideration.

In the end, remember to be considerate, kind, and generous with your listening skills and mostly stay free of judgment.

Until next time, embrace your inner wisdom. :)

Bounded

What Are Personal Boundaries?

Having personal boundaries set in our lives helps to attract people that positive forces in our lives and help us to grow. These boundaries are also beneficial when we want to really enjoy good healthy relationships and stay in control of our destiny. It helps us to create our own identity as we are forced to look within ourselves. In my blog, I am not claiming to be a trained expert as in going to college or university, but I have been to the UOL (University of Life) which makes me an expert because of all the things I have experienced in my life.

Personal boundaries are a space that we create that basically spells out what we want near us or in our lives. Not many people understand this and I hope that by reading my blog it will bring some understanding and clarity.

I recently discovered that although I am a strong-willed person and I am very fussy about who I hang out with and who comes into my home, which for me, is my personal space, I realized that I was not reinforcing my boundaries enough in my life. For example, although I know what I want and don’t want, I was not saying no enough. I would sometimes find myself getting involved in conversations that did not match how I felt as a person. There is one thing I hate and that is people talking about people, unless it is for a good reason. I hate people saying negative things about people, especially when they don’t have the guts to say it to the person’s face. I am a very sensitive person; I am able to see straight through people, which has been a very useful tool for me throughout my life. I have also had firsthand experiences of people being nasty behind my back and then smiling when they see me. That really hurts and can be very confusing to the point where you think you are going crazy … have you ever experienced this? So on the one hand someone is nice to your face, and then on the other they are being two faced behind your back. Actions such as this cause a person to lose all respect for the other parties involved.

I started to look deep into myself and through visualization and meditation, I imagined myself in this circle with light around it. At first, the circle was very close to my body and I just felt compelled to push the circle out away from me creating an empty space with the circle maintaining its light. I like the light as my protection and I refer to this protection as “where I draw the line.” I am sure some of you have used or heard of this expression. Yes, we do need to draw a line in all things, but first we need to understand who we really are as a person. So now that I’ve created this lovely space, what do I fill it with? I started to fill it with “you” words. Like an imaginary artist, I wrote the “you” words all around this space until it became crowded. That’s it! I thought. This space is only about me. Then I started to analyze the outside of the circle and saw all the things that make me sad, things and people who are not good to me, and I left them outside. It gave me so much strength and power within myself as I was in control of who I would let in. By doing this, I was able to build on my self-esteem, my self-respect, and really come face to face with myself. I realized a few things that I was not proud of, like some conversations I have had that I should not have had. By doing this I noticed an untapped strength within; it felt new and refreshing but somehow it felt like it was always there waiting for me to tap into it. Since my new discovery, someone approached me with something and tried to pull the wool over my eyes and use me, in this case I simply said no, but when I said no, it had so much force behind it. Although I did not use a tone with it, I saw the person almost shrink, their body language suggested that they did not understand as normally I would just smile and not really say anything. It is good to smile, but I found that people always mistook my smile for something else.

You and Your Space Are Important

Just remember that you are the most important person in your life; everything else comes second even if you are a parent or have a career, if you don’t put yourself first and look after yourself, then how will you be able to care for others? Your children and clients need you to be in top health and strong. Stand by your beliefs and if advice is given, listen but choose whether you act upon it. You are in control, no one else, and if someone else is in control then it’s time to take control back. Don’t be afraid to take control, you are a special individual and when you entered into this world there was not a tag attached to you that said “use me, walk all over me, batter me, drain my life-force energy, I am your slave, I do what you say, I have not got a mind of my own, you will never be somebody” did it?

Remember this daily …

Healthy boundaries are based on your own moral beliefs. If you feel that you are going against your own personal values to feel accepted or to please someone, you may want to reassess the relationships you have with these people as this is a sign of an unhealthy personal boundary.

Form your own personal identity rather than someone else’s. I knew this person who loved the color pink, but at that time pink was not in fashion so she hid her love for that color and wore what everyone else was wearing, which was normally black or gray, just to fit in. She did not want to wear pink as it would bring attention to herself and plus she did not want everyone to say things like that is sooooooo not in this season. She was miserable as she was not being true to herself or expressing herself the way she should.

If you feel something is not right then I would question it, ponder on it for a while, follow your heart and your intuition and listen to how you truly feel and don’t be afraid to express that feeling. Some will like it some will not, but does it matter?

If this has helped in any way it would be good to hear from you. :)

it can hurt

Sometimes things can be pointy in life. Quite pokey in fact. With thorns.

Wandering about looking at other people’s fluffy cats and floppy puppy ears makes it worse. These people have nothing but weird looks for small pointy triangles. They are busy wiping up droppings and drool, or vacuuming hair and fluff.

So, life goes on. People get perfectly groomed lawns to go with their floppy puppies and docile cats that never make noise. Sometimes while everyone else gets perkier, life only accumulates more of the same pointyness.

It’s nothing personal. Just mathematics. Or genetics. Or the order forming out of chaos.

After a time, it becomes futile to question why. It makes more sense to not tell people that the last time a silver lining was looked for it seemed to be made of slime. People like their euphemism to work, allowing them to exit the scene without contracting any thorns, slime, or pokes.

So, it’s better to just let them. Let them go back to the things that they have, away from the things they don’t want. To the wonderful, desirable things that everyone cannot have.

Until one day, it’s different.

Maybe it’s someone asking for help with their slime. Or someone remarks that they like the shade of those thorns. It might just be something discovered in the mirror one day.

Suddenly, it’s breathtaking.

The pattern is unmistakable, so beautiful and unique. Even the thorns and color contribute to the overall picture. It doesn’t make life any different than it was.

It just makes more sense.

Somewhere.. someone..

I received an email from a friend today who was inspired by something she read, and although not a religious person, it hit home with her and who she sent it to, I’m sure. The point being that we “have a whole heck of a lot to offer, and we all long to be doing something more. In fact, I am often guilty of wishing away time. And lots of times, I don’t get the expected outcome. Things don’t always happen on our time … and maybe that’s for good reason.”

Because I was feeling the, um, how I can eloquently put this, same blah-ness, I needed to be inspired, and thought about all the things, important things, that must have happened elsewhere in the world this day while we were questioning our decisions, feeling sad about our situations, and wishing for more than what we were handed. Turns out, if you really think about it, it wasn’t a waste of a day, and it sure wasn’t a boring day. Because, it is most definite that ...

Somewhere … a new doctor just saved his first life—and became insanely addicted to it.

Somewhere … a teenager just turned eighteen, and is able to walk away from an abusive home as a full-grown independent.

Somewhere … someone in the world right now is thinking of you, and doesn’t want to be anywhere else in the world but sitting beside you if you’d only let him/her.

Somewhere … there is someone you want to be sitting next to more than anyone else in the world.

Somewhere … a young woman is going to a clinic and walking out instead, knowing that somehow, some way, she is going to raise this baby.

Somewhere … there are two people meeting for the first time who will be the source for a great love story that will be passed down to their great-great-great-grandchildren.

Somewhere … someone bit their lip, conquered their fears, and jumped out of an airplane for the first time.

Somewhere … two worthy and loving people are being given the gift of a child that they couldn’t have themselves.

Somewhere … a child was lost, and has been reunited with those that have been worried sick about his well-being.

Somewhere … a new restaurant just pinned their first dollar to the wall to the cheers of its patrons and waitstaff.

Somewhere … a child has just learned what she wants to be when she grows up.

Somewhere … an adult has just learned what he wants to be when he grows up.

Somewhere … a director has just yelled “That’s a wrap!” on a movie that will be one day studied by someone whose passion for movies leads them to be one of the greatest directors of his time.

Somewhere … someone has just realized this moment that the limitations of others do not apply to her.

Somewhere … someone has been given the keys to her first home, a sanctuary for her children, a lock on the door, and actual windows in the frames, and for the first time ever, she will sleep a good night’s sleep.

Somewhere … someone heard from her secret admirer today.

Somewhere … a secret admirer made a lasting impression.

Somewhere … an animal was saved from cruelty and taken to a safe haven, where she will be adopted by a loving family and live out her days chasing its tail in the backyard.

Somewhere … someone decided that, against the odds, they were going to be the first in their family to go to college.

Somewhere … someone packed up a home and left an abusive relationship behind them.

Somewhere … someone learned to read and has since dived into a world of imagination, hopefully never to come back to the surface.

Somewhere … someone quit their soul-sucking job and walked out on a life that was insufficient, and instead decided to run toward an unknown that although foggy, was far better than the black-and-white they were living in.

Somewhere … someone created a technology that is going to make the iPad look like an Etch A Sketch.

Somewhere … someone’s kind words changed another’s outlook on themselves, and perhaps saved his/her life.

Somewhere … there is someone reading this who wants to be greater than they are, better at what they do, is willing to take a few risks, and experience the greatest that life has to offer.

Somewhere … someone …

live the life

In life there’s pain, there’s joy, there’s laughter, there are lies, and there is sadness. We lose hope in the good things, and we feel alone—but that’s life. After all is done, we move on with our lives. Don’t be sad, and don’t look down—walk with your head up and smile! For life is a test, and we need to pass it with good grades. We have one chance to live our lives to the maximum. Don’t you cry, don’t you pout, and don’t think you’re alone—because you’re not.

We may be alive, but it doesn’t mean you’re living. So, do what your heart says, and don’t wait—because life doesn’t wait. Live in the moment and don’t look back.

Because it may be too late. Life is giving and taking away, so live before it’s too late.

Life is like a storm. It’s there and then it’s gone—rain so heavy, but light as a snowflake.

Life is like a bunch of reruns that people never like.

We are hurt, and we forgive those for such pain. We hide behind lies, and we are never ourselves.

But don’t worry, I won’t judge.

Life is hard for all of us, so when you wake in the morning, go outside, look around, and say: I am alive. You may not have the best of things, but when you look up, think, I’m alive, that’s all I need to go and make my dreams come true. Because life is like a dream, and I have to find that for myself.

just ask yourself.. :)

Are you currently living your life as a version of yourself that’s utterly satisfying?

Do you awake each morning thrilled to feel the breath enter and then escape from your functioning lungs, only to have another rush flood immediately in?

Do you look at the people, opportunities, experiences, memories, and emotions that create the metaphorical fabric of your life and pour out gratitude for each and every one?

Do you realize how lucky you already are—right here, right now—in this very moment?

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? How does that viewpoint make you feel? Does it apply elsewhere in your life?

When was the last time you stopped to smell a beautiful flower?

Do you indulge in simple things that bring your much joy? (Hint: sometimes the best things make everyone else around you raise an eyebrow in question. That’s okay! Do it anyway! They’re probably just jealous of your sense of freedom.)

Which terrifies you more: failing or succeeding? (Be honest with yourself!)

What do you want?

I love, love, love the convolutedness of this question. It is so bloody simple, and yet it seems to be one of the most difficult for people to answer. Why is that? Don’t we all feel things bubbling in our bellies that indicate we’re more drawn to certain things, people, foods, colors, movie/music genres, etc. So, what’s the point in ignoring or denying that?

The questions could just keep pouring from my fingertips like the colorful scarf emerging from the magician’s sleeve—never-ending, colorful, captivating.

But tada … I feel that such potent material is sometimes best ingested in smaller doses. At least until a higher tolerance is built up.

Adjusting one’s mentality is not a quick turnaround process. But, it’s a ridiculously important one! So please … don’t deny yourself such an opportunity. Don’t downplay your abilities and capabilities. Don’t be too hard on yourself, or too soft. Don’t deny yourself from yourself!

Smile wide, and laugh often!

We have a choice

We have a choice …
… whether we choose hate or love.
… whether we take someone else’s life or rehabilitate our own.
… whether we live inside the darkness or journey into the light.

We have a choice …
… whether we surrender to fear or commit to the knowledge that we are capable of more.
… whether we lend a hand or walk on by.

We have a choice …
… whether we harm or heal.
… whether we judge and criticize, or show compassion and caring.
… whether we hold onto the burning coals of anger, or we learn how to forgive and let things go.

Inside our moments, we are always making a choice. And inside those choices lies the power to architect our own story.

And no, choices aren’t always simple and easy. But they are ours to make. So we can continue on living our life justifying and rationalizing. We can continue on saying, Well, that’s just who I am. And change is really hard. But I think that’s bullshit. Because who you’ve been up until today doesn’t dictate who you’re always going to be.

And being who you’ve always been when it no longer serves you or the world is a cop out from really living your life.

Today I’m calling you on your bullshit. Why? Because I’m calling myself on mine too. Because I will no longer make excuses for why I can’t be my biggest self. I will no longer cling to old ways of thinking and being that sabotage my abilities to harness my power. I will see fear, anger, and darkness as opportunities for healing and enlightenment. I am choosing self-realization, examining the hard stuff, living inside generosity, and striving for mastery.

Because if we’re going to change ourselves and live our most purpose driven life, then we can best start by examining the hard truth about the choices we make.

And if nothing else inspires you to change, then live your life today for the people who didn't have the chance to change anymore, to peoplewho no longer gets to dream, to people who no longer get to be the person they wanted to be.

(This post is dedicated to all the little girls with big heart and big dreams)

I wonder what and when is enough

This is a story about my generation—or maybe just me and some of my friends. We are always searching for more. When we were in high school, we wanted to have more friends, to be cooler, to be cuter, to be more handsome, to be more popular—you name it, and we wanted more of it. When Facebook was first introduced, we wanted more friends and included everyone we came across in real life without discrimination. When we first entered college, we wanted more prestigious awards, more fun, more experiences, and more college experience. We want more from our friends, more contacts, more networking, and more opportunities. In our relationships, we wanted to meet more people and enjoy more. When we first graduated, we wanted more from our jobs, more from our life, and more than we were getting. Wherever we were, in whichever part of our life or the world, we wanted more.

In a constant struggle with myself, I wonder what and when is enough. What standards do we have for contentment? Do we even know what contentment is, or has it become an estranged relative who we vaguely remember? Is society to blame for its trends in excess? Who do we blame for the mass of extra large T-shirts, extra large french fries and Diet Cokes, the wait for some extra money on lotto tickets so we can have some extra cash for luxuries and brand names? Where can we draw the line for contentment? When one reaches their death bed? It has always bothered me—this struggle for the riches, and the desire for more. Not because I was immune to it and looked down upon others, but because I have to constantly battle it out, and because I see many of us are struggling with it.

Contentment is a choice, not a settlement with life. It is an active decision, and not always an easy one. Before making that decision, we need to define the word “need” and what our needs are? I can’t define them for you. I can only do so for myself, and I’ve found that the morning cigarette was not really a need.

Oftentimes, we forget the difference between needing something and wanting something, which results in an increase in the number of items that we think we need. Let’s take the Internet for example: We need the Internet to be accessible twenty-four hours a day, preferably in the palm of our hands. It is convenient to have that, yes, but it is hardly a need (unless you work is time sensitive). Most likely you don’t need this much access, and if you do get it, then (like me) you waste it on hours of Google searches, Facebook updates, and slowly falling into an abyss of a fantasy Internet world where everything is instant and accessible.

Some of us (again, like me) are aware of what we are doing, yet we do not change. We do not recalculate our needs or analyze our wants, which seems irrational. Any rational being would make the logical decision to cut down on investing in something that is hardly a need and is not valuable.
Trustst me, after years, used name brands are no longer valuable, and neither are the hours invested surfing on the Internet. If quality is our aim, then we would consume rationally and we would socialize rationally, as no one would doubt the benefits of physical socializing over virtual socializing. Also, we would invest rationally in items that would generate profit or help develop society, communities, and our future. The desire to want more right now and to want more without limits is sadly enough depriving us from having much in our future. Want proof? Why don’t you just google it? (Yes, that’s an acceptable verb). Despite knowing how to increase the quality of our lives and the benefits of work-life balance, we work endless hours to make more money to get more. The fact that we all know this and still we manage to keep these lifestyles indicate not only irrationality, but also an addiction and a void within our own personal structures that we are constantly trying to fill. So, when is it really enough? I don’t know. If I did, I wouldn’t be writing this article.